After our discussion in class about to what extent we can control our feelings and what impact they have on us, I was wondering why we like the people we like ? Often, this has to do with the connection we have with that certain person and how close we feel to them. However, sometimes we develop feelings for people that are very different from us.
Have you ever met a couple with a very calm husband and a short-tempered wife or two best friends, one very social and outgoing but the other very shy and introverted ?
They say that opposites attract, but to what extent is that true ?
According to the following article "http://www.psychicsuniverse.com/articles/astrology-horoscopes/love-horoscope/making-love-work-why" opposites DO ATTRACT. It is said that "opposites do attract for a very good reason: we see qualities in others that we lack in ourselves."
We often do not control who we fall for; however, there are some factors that contribute to our feelings towards a certain person. I have personally witnessed at different occasions two very different people fall in love. No one would have never thought that this would happen, but it did.
Some people speak about finding the “perfect man” or the “perfect woman”. Others get together with people based on their physical appearance or how successful they are. Little girls are raised to believe that one day they will find their “Prince Charming”. However when we grow up, we realize that such things will not happen. There is no such thing as a “perfect man or woman”. Therefore it is up to us to find that one person who might not be perfect, speaking overall, but is perfect to our eyes. That one person who is the best match for us, the one person who makes us a better person.
This brings us back to the question of why people with different personalities are attracted to each other. As mentioned in the article, we might like someone who is different than us because we are attracted to the new elements each one brings into the other’s life. In this case, we are mostly controlled by our emotions. When two people share the same beliefs, agree on everything and have very similar personalities, there is nothing new that one can learn about the other. One might feel like their partner is a female/male version of them, which can become boring. However, when two people have different personalities, there is always something new and exciting.
From this example, even if we can speculate about why, we must still conclude we do not have any control over who we might develop feelings for. At times, emotions are hard to explain. If you ask yourself about why you like a certain person, you won’t find a precise answer to this question.
Do you think you can control who you develop feelings for ?
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ReplyDeleteIntriguing… This is really a crucial aspect of emotion and knowing, because our lives really do revolve around emotions, like it, or not. When you get up in the morning feeling bad for no reason you can fathom - or when you like, or dislike, someone immediately, without knowing anything about them, their opinions or actions - this is very hard to explain. Maybe we do look for the opposite of what we are, but - boredom aside - it makes sense to me that you would be attracted to people who think and behave like you do… As to controlling your feelings for or against someone, I think it can be hard, but if you make an effort you can conquer your dislike or your obsession for another person. You have to talk yourself into thinking and feeling differently. For this reason, I think emotions are very powerful influences, but your head (intellect) has the capacity to change your feelings if you really try to think differently. In other words, the feelings will follow where the mind leads…. I guess this is an argument for arranged marriages! A Moroccan friend I have whose marriage was arranged told me she did not like the look of her prospective husband at all when she first saw him - knowing her family had decided they must marry. She told her mother, "I don't like the look of him - and he's fat!" But her mother told her, "Love comes later.." Apparently, her mother was right - and she 'grew to love him' over time… I wonder whether we just learn to like - or love - what we have no choice but to accept….
ReplyDeleteZainab, In a scientific perspective the statement that opposites attract is very true. We know that protons attract to electrons because of their opposite charges. However is this true about human beings natural selection? I think that the claim is too bold and can easily be disagreed with. I for example do disagree with this statement. One reason is that yes there might be people who are opposite and are attracted to each other but also most people are attracted to someone similar to them. Meaning just by looking at statistics of this research only a small amount of people do support this claim. In a bigger point of view of the world the claim can be incorrect. As a very scientific human being I like to look at the world from a scientific filter which makes sense to me. I strongly believe that attraction to one another comes from the release of dopamine in the body, a love hormone that makes you attracted to someone else. The question that remains is what releases this hormone, eye contacts, touch, and physical attributions, such as strength are important factors that release this hormone. I like to think of people as very savage creatures because this is how are instincts work, we want the strong person because we want to be protected and we want eye contact to feel Important and cared about. All in all I believe dopamine is what attracts two people each other and not their character.
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